My Fight is Over
Two years of deep healing work have led me here.
I no longer feel guilt, shame, or blame for my past. I see now how it all played out perfectly… every mistake, every wound, every broken bond, every abandoned project. It all contributed to the fertile soil from which I could grow.
Healing, for me, wasn’t about becoming perfect like I once thought. It was about finally forgiving myself, welcoming home the exiled parts of me, and reconnecting to the divine life force within.
I was designed perfectly but I was not designed to be perfect.
I was meant to explore, break, rebuild, and learn. In other words, I was meant to do lots of stupid shit! What I was not meant to do was carry the heavy burden of guilt and shame for my choices. (That came from my conditioning.)
Lately, I’ve been in a state of deep rest and healing. And in that space, something cracked open:
I have finally come to love every f*cking part of myself. Even the parts the world does not approve of.
For so long, I carried a secret anger. Most people couldn’t see it, but I felt its heaviness every single day. It was exhausting. I just wanted so badly for the world to accept me for who I was. And I wanted to be forgiven for my past.
But all the wanting in the world never made it happen.
Turns out, that’s an inside job.
It had to come from me.
For decades, I fought so hard against the parts of me I thought the world disapproved of. But now I know… it was really just me who had to do the accepting.
And so now the fight is finally over.
I’ve laid my weapons down.
I’ve surrendered.
And guess what I found?
Love.
It was there the entire freaking time. 😱